Poorly Constructed Catamaran Sails [Briefly]

Myself and 'Mavis'

Myself and 'Mavis'

At long last, one of my life’s goals is finally complete: to build a small, poor-quality catamaran with an inspirational message scrawled on the sail. Today, my good friend Brendan and I accomplished this pie-in-the-sky dream at great personal risk to our very lives. In the post which follows, I detail the factors which led to our decision to wright the shabby craft and our short adventure in launching its maiden voyage.

After a successful outing to K-Mart earlier in the day and a few LAN games, Brendan and I had reached a state of boredom. There was little use in continuing gaming, as it had become tedious. It was while reminiscing over our halcyon days of constructing weapons of minor destruction from household items (rubber-band rifles, a giant catapult which flung oranges, etc.) we chanced on the idea of building something. A weapon was out of the question, given our age and desire to do something constructive rather than destructive. It was in my desperation that I suggested we fashion a small boat.

The SS. Scrimshaw, or 'Cheer Up Mavis'

The SS. Scrimshaw, or 'Cheer Up Mavis'

Contrary to my expectations, this proved a superb idea. Brendan and I immediately set to sawing, nailing and cutting and with as little effort as we could spare, we wrought a catamaran of a quality as low as a dead mule and twice as ugly. We christened this creation the ‘SS. Scrimshaw’, ignoring the obvious fact that the boat was not a steam-ship. Perhaps the acronym instead stood for Sail-Ship or Shitty-Ship. However, after scrawling our inspirational message across the sail: ‘Cheer Up Mavis’, we decided to call the catamaran by this more colloquial name. Eventually, we referred to the boat simply as ‘Mavis’.

Brendan and 'Mavis'

Brendan and 'Mavis'

Having completed our catamaran and affixed the mast (a pencil) and sail (a cutout portion of a canvas bag), Brendan and I secured a vehicle and (after buying some nylon rope to tether the boat to the shore), set off for West Lakes. Upon our arrival and, lacking a tiny bottle of champagne, we released the Mavis into the lake, for her maiden voyage, video of which is included below.

'Mavis', her maiden voyage over, a success.

'Mavis', her maiden voyage over, a success.


8 thoughts on “Poorly Constructed Catamaran Sails [Briefly]

  1. I put it to you that, among seeing the beauty of this ship, you decided that something so precious needed to be filled with seamen before going on such a voyage.

    Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea,
    To the open arms of the sea.
    Lonely rivers sigh,
    wait for me, wait for me,
    I’ll be coming home, wait for me.
    Whoa, my love, my darling

    Engelbert Humperdinck FTW

  2. LOL Great,

    We Have All Heard Of Such Vessels Such As The Titanic, The HMAS Sydney And The Valiant.
    Now There Is A New Story To be Told:
    Coming This SPRING To Cinema’s Everywhere:

    The Cheer Up Mavis
    “The Maiden Voyage”

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