Detonation Range

My partner and I hold a longstanding disagreement on the notion of assumptions regarding other human beings encountered in a social forum. She maintains that is is preferable to extend trust to newly met individuals, while I disagree and assert that it is (at least in a consequential sense) superior to regard these individuals with at least a modicum of suspicion. In this essay, I will explore my position and implicitly critique others which are available.

As a preface, allow me to clarify that in an ideal world, it would not be necessary to operate with skepticism as to the motives of others in a social setting. It is not my desire to advocate a position which compels individuals to operate this way, but rather I argue that it is necessary in modern social settings.

As (I hope) will be readily apparent to most individuals who are of sufficient age to leave home without the protective governance of their parents, the social world can be a fundamentally dangerous place. Indeed, using only the example of ‘drink spiking’ (chosen for its relevance in collective Australian consciousness), the fact that social creatures with negative intentions exist is painfully evident. I will continue to refer to this example throughout the body of this essay, but it is important to acknowledge that there are (many) other possible negatives, ranging from relatively benign, yet unwanted flirting to extremes such as homicide and kidnapping.

People spike drinks for a number of reasons including wanting to sexually assault, rape or rob the person whose drink they have spiked. Sometimes the only motivation is to see what effect the drug will have on the person.

‘The Source’ – Australian Federal Police

This prosaic description of what has (sadly) become a fairly regular occurrence in Australian social environments is nonetheless alarming for the information it supplies. I will take these suggested motivations as premises to support my argument. However, as I will demonstrate below, it does not matter why individuals may ‘spike’ a drink, it is enough that it happens at all. A caveat, however; the Federal Police also write:

Some people have spiked their friends drinks to liven up a party. Unfortunately these people are unaware of the consequences of what they have done. It’s an offence to endanger someone’s life, and if the person has a serious reaction to the drug and dies, the person responsible could face a murder charge.

ibid

I concede for this reason that not all drink spikings are maliciously motivated. This seems to be an example of Hanlon’s Razor. That is to say; “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.” Nonetheless, it is clear that the possibility of robbery, rape, murder or sexual assault is evident in social settings, especially where alcohol is present.

It is perhaps unfair to vilify society as a whole with the stains of a few either intensely stupid or otherwise undesirable individuals. I would be perfectly willing to accept that most individuals do not desire to do any harm and instead seek only to enjoy themselves (though after a sufficient amount of alcohol, the lines between the two may sometimes blur.) However, the essential risk is that every person you encounter may be either the malicious or profoundly stupid individual who does society the disservice of making its interactivity unsafe.

Of course, it would be preferable to extend warmth, trust and friendship to strangers in the hope that everyone ‘has a good time’ and to avoid hurting the feelings of others or seeming standoffish. However, the risk in this situation dramatically outweighs the potential gain. Whether it is allowing somebody you do not know to buy you a drink (something which the police heavily discourage) or being too polite to tell a persistent stranger that you are uninterested, the risks are mammoth and the potential gain is minimal (negligible, in fact, as I will later elaborate). The example of not discouraging flirting gains significant weight when the results of this survey are considered, showing that an appalling 1 out of 7 Australian boys believe that it is reasonable to force sex on somebody if they have flirted with you.

It would be dishonest of me not to reveal my own motivations in explaining my position. Many of my friends are young women, who (as seems to be the general consensus) are the highest risk groups for attacks such as those detailed above. Much to my despair, many people who I am acquainted with do not consider the risks or instead ignore them in preference of lubricating social interaction. While it is not my right to impede their autonomy by attempting to coerce them into behaving in a way which (I feel) is responsible, it is certainly reasonable to make my position apparent and urge caution. As I have said; the risk is significant and deliberate ignorance of this fact is unconscionable.

Therefore, it is my argument that all individuals operating in a social environment should advance with suspicion and general caution towards others. I do not, of course, mean to say that one should assume that a rapist hides around every corner and every person offering to buy a drink is waiting to slip drugs into it, but rather that individuals should be aware of the potential for these occurrences and accordingly should not advance trust to unknown others or concede to unwanted attention on the basis of politeness. I am aware that this seems to be common sense, but I am consistently proven wrong when the exploits of my friends and acquaintances are related to me.

An addendum; by the same principles it is also unwise to drink excessively in the company of strangers, as this essentially amounts to ‘spiking’ one’s own drink. I am hesitant to rail against this as strongly, as drinking to excess around relative strangers seems to be the supreme favorite pastime of many of my peers. Nonetheless, I find the practice contemptible and inane.

To dispatch with a few criticisms; some rebuke my position on the grounds that their business in going out is either to ‘meet new people’ or (less artfully saying essentially the same thing) to seek romantic or sexual engagement. Surely then, they contend, I would have them wrap themselves in cotton wool and prevent them making new friends or ‘getting any’. I disagree entirely. Being cautious does not mean turning every person away, having scribbled ‘potential rapist’ on their forehead with a sharpie, it simply means taking a slightly longer time to ‘get to know’ an individual and being aware of (and watching for) signs of the risks explored above.

Furthermore, any people who are genuinely interested in either friendship or romantic engagement would surely persevere through initial caution upon meeting, where passing sexual fancies may plausibly be discouraged. It is plausible that persistent sexual predators might also persevere, but I suspect that their intentions would become clear by the stage that initial caution would relax slightly. In terms of those who are actively seeking one-night-stands or other such sexual encounters, I can only say that I have not devised a similar principle for such quests.

Ultimately, it is entirely the business of individuals whether or not they trust individuals with whom they are not already acquainted.  It is simply my position that the potential gain of faster, easier social interaction, achieved through ‘throwing caution to the wind’ is significantly outweighed by the potential risks, these extending as far as rape and murder. It is my hope, however, that reasonable individuals will realize that people who they have never met before do not deserve any trust whatsoever and, as part of a society which harbours murderers, drink-spikers, rapists and people who simply take advantage of others, these unknown individuals instead deserve an initial cynicism and suspicion, which it is their responsibility to eliminate through repeated examples of integrity.

This entry was posted on December 14, 2008 at 4:24 am and is filed under essay. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: 'going out', cynicism, drinking, drugs, essay